Life is like traveling by canoe across a great big lake and all we have is a paddle.  So, we paddle forward. We aren’t exactly sure where we’re headed sometimes, but we just keep paddling.  As we paddle forward, we often forget to look up at the horizon and our direction shifts.  Sometimes we just stop paddling altogether because we’re lost or we just want to pause and contemplate our bearings.  It can be windy on the lake, and there are the undercurrents to consider.  Worse, we could find ourselves offshore when a thunderstorm rolls in.  Canoes don’t have sails so paddling is our only recourse against the elements and the current.  Imagine a guide sitting in our canoe with us.  This guide doesn’t paddle for us, but they have a GPS and an iPhone 4.  Imagine if our guide always considers the horizon and the elements.  Imagine if our guide is purely motivated to help us paddle forward in the best direction.  That’s someone we should listen to.

The concept of coaching people was once singularly equated with athletic pursuits. In the 1990′s coaching emerged as an independent discipline with multiple contexts such as life coaching, career coaching and leadership coaching. It just makes sense. Coaching is about listening effectively, empathizing and helping a person create clear next steps in life. Coaching is empowered by asking great questions, but great coaching begins by becoming a trusted advocate in the life of another person. Coaching IS NOT coercion or an explicit means to an end. When a person that’s compelled by a genuine spirit invests time and energy into the life of another person that’s compelled by a humble spirit, serious personal growth can happen.

The opportunities in life to coach people represent some of the biggest opportunities we’ll encounter to make a difference in this world.  In turn, realizing our own potential includes empowering the right people to coach us.  Unfortunately, it very often takes retrospect for us to see this. When we look backwards on the seasons of our lives, our accomplishments seem faded.  It’s relationships that can change us and sustain us.  Each time we positively influence someone’s life through coaching, the impact multiples exponentially through that person’s life. While coaching is now a widely recognized profession, it’s also something that has long happened organically between peers and within small groups.  It’s quite biblical.  I often refer to peer-to-peer coaching relationships as Hebrews 10:24 Relationships.

As for leaders, coaching people will define our future. Leading well means coaching well so leaders should embrace it with passion and strategy.  I have recently identified and placed 7 young @longleafchurch leaders into a Leadership Development Program.  As a part of their program, I designed a Leadership Coaching component.  This process has prompted me to consider what the basic elements of a successful coaching relationship are.  Here are some points to consider that can empower a great coaching relationship:

• Coaching Competencies – Coaches don’t necessarily need an in depth understanding of their coachee’s professional or volunteer roles, but they do need at least a basic understanding.  The core competencies of an effective coach should include; listening skills, goal-orientation, trustworthiness, analytical thinking and at least for my context, biblical literacy.
• Relationship Dynamics - To be effective, a coach must have a genuine spirit.  To grow, a coachee must have a humble spirit.  The coaching concept is more akin to being a guide than a mentor.  Coaches don’t tell, they ask great questions. The key is mutual trust.
• Clear Goals – At the outset, the coaching relationship should begin with goals for the coachee.  I suggest 1-3 goals. Chances are, these goals will get refined during the coaching relationship.  The overarching goals are personal growth for BOTH parties AND the refinement of personal goals and weekly productivity systems for the coachee.

Have you been on either side of a coaching relationship such as this?  How did it impact your life?

From the ground, one section of a Longleaf Forest can look pretty similar to other sections and finding your way, or at least a straight path, can be difficult without directional way points. However, if you happen to be 50 or 60 feet up in Longleaf Pine, your horizons are broader and your perspective is better. I love to climb trees. I always have. Tree Climbing is actually a sport these days and many avid outdoor enthusiasts are taking up this exciting sport. I have utilized tree climbing stands for deer hunting for a couple of decades. Fortunately, that technology has become less invasive to the trees and much safer. For me, the best part of deer hunting has always been observing the forest and it’s wildlife while not actually interacting with it. The best place to do this is from above.  My perspective becomes broader.  I can see wildlife moving through the forest before they see me. I’ve learned a lot about the Longleaf Forest and it’s wildlife over the years while perched way up in a tree.

My friend Michael is a well equipped traditional tree climber. As you can see in the image above, he found his way up to the crown of this Longleaf Pine just before sunset one afternoon. I doubt that anyone else has ever gained the exact perspective of the forest that he had on that afternoon. There’s something unique and special about that.  In those quiet moments when we pause to truly appreciate our unique perspective, it brings mental clarity and nourishment to our souls.

When’s the last time you made a concerted effort to consider, or perhaps alter, your default perspectives? How we process our challenges and opportunities has everything to do with perspective.  Perspective is defined by a series of filters that we create for ourselves from a unique set of variables.  Some of the variables that create our perspective are our backgrounds, values, personality traits, experiences, hopes and fears.  I’m not suggesting that we should compromise our beliefs and our values, but if we’re not diligent about understanding our individual perspectives, it can lead towards unexpected problems.  To be our best, we need the “outside looking in” perspectives of others that have our best interest at heart.  This is as true for organizations just as it is for individuals.  Successful organizations evaluate the perspective of their customers, or at least they better…

Small Business Owners recognize that consistently pausing to “work on my business rather than in it” allows them to gain better perspective and formulate better plans.  Leaders understand that leadership coaches can help them identify and manage “blind spots” in their leadership style.  For example, my tendency in dealing with opportunities and challenges under pressure is to simply furrow my brow and try harder.  Determination is a virtue, but if unchecked it can narrow our perspective.  That’s really a gravitational pull that we all fight, that is to avoid developing a narrow perspective.  It’s important that we pause to consider our perspectives so that we can learn and grow and we need friends that we can trust to challenge us and spur us on.  Jesus constantly challenged his followers to broaden their horizons on the purpose and meaning of life and to recognize that a bigger story is unfolding…

Tough seasons of life are inevitable. The man said it, in this life you will have trouble.  However, our responses to these tough seasons are up to us.  At times, we will be discouraged.  At times, we will feel exhausted and apathetic.  It’s part of life.  There’s so many different things in life that can assail our hope and make our dreams seem distant.  While we can all point to one or two key arenas of life where we are struggling, it’s the cumulative effect of life’s challenges that sometimes confuse us and even cause us to drift from the things that we know are right. Our perspective of purpose is deeply connected to how we process life’s challenges.  Purpose can be described as the exercise of one’s unique talents and values while pursuing one’s unique hopes, and dreams. Purpose helps us see beyond our challenges and helps us remember what matters most no matter our circumstances.  Purpose fuels our passion and keeps our dreams alive.

Christians apply biblical truth to direct their formation of purpose, though most everyone shares a desire for a purpose filled life.  Our work is a integral part of discovering our purpose.  These past few years have been particularly tough on the career aspirations of lots of people.  Many people have lost their jobs.  My friend Daniel Green is one of those people.  I have seen Daniel work hard and do the right thing yet still lose his job twice in recent years.  Speaking about his job transitions Daniel said, “I have moved my family to three states in two years. Challenge doesn’t begin to describe what has taken place in my heart. Purpose feels like a hard pill for me to swallow these days.  I’ve read the books and watched the movies. Purpose here on earth sometimes seems like a distant fairy tale for me.“  Daniel said that he has begun to approach his career challenges with a deeper senses of surrender and to trust God no matter what.  Daniel recognizes that he’s not ultimately in control and chooses to focus on how he treats people and loving his family. He said, “passion for life gets me through my days. Passion for the outdoors. Passion to share cool stuff and experiences with my kids.”

Whatever the season, Daniel and his wife Carol are encouraging people to know so they’re blessed with lots of friends. They have a great marriage and an awesome family.  I asked Daniel what he has learned over the past few years in the midst of his career challenges. He responded, “Be humble no matter what your circumstance are. God has a plan. Seek it with humility.” That’s pretty great advice in my book.  In spite of adversity, Daniel looked beyond his challenges and has remembered what matters most.  His future is bright, his dreams are alive…

Leadership comes in many forms and is demonstrated at many levels.  Many of the best leaders that I have known embrace and diligently steward the influence they have on people.  Being a good leader is more than just a job, it’s an identity that emanates from within.  At their core, good leaders don’t just desire to perpetuate their agendas, they desire to make a difference within the hearts and minds of people.  They are people of vision and of hope.  Ironically, these authentic, relationally-minded leaders are the ones who most often get the job done.  Just like life in general, leadership is seasonal and when a season of leadership draws to a close, we pause to evaluate it.  Responding to the tough seasons takes resilient energy.

Leadership at any level can sometimes become a heavy burden that calls for strong character.  I have a friend named Skip Philips who embraced his role as a leader with a sense of dedication and purpose.  He worked to forward the goals of the organization that he served and he often speaks of his wins in terms of his employees and his customers.  Skip’s tenure as CEO of Houston Healthcare in Warner Robins was abruptly ended this week.  He was “terminated without cause”.  I had a chance to gather some thoughts and insights from him as he reflected on his recent leadership season.

Skip said, “Challenges and trials come in many forms for individuals and leaders everyday.  Sometimes, we may say something like ‘I hope this works out’ or something similar.  I have heard it said that hope is not a plan.  Over the last several months, and in specifically during this last week, I have truly been surrounded by the hope that comes from faith in God through his perfect timing and perfect plan.  A leader is one who influences others at work, in our families, in our small groups, in sports or in our community.  We all have challenges and trials but God is faithful and He’s always with us.  Hope is a plan when it’s derived from God.”  The resilient energy of Skip’s response to the separation with Houston Healthcare should inspire us.

Skip came out the other side of a challenging season of leadership full of hopefulness for the future.  Hope is fueled by character and leaders full of hope are leaders worth following….

If you or someone in your immediate family is a teacher, you know that teaching can be a rewarding gig, but it’s not easy.  It’s a calling to invest oneself into the lives children for over 40 hours each week.  Make no mistake, that’s what teaching entails.  It’s personal.  Teachers celebrate the wins within the lives of their students and they feel disappointment when their students make mistakes or under-perform. Over the past few years, many teachers have seen their resources and their salaries cut.  Some of them have even lost their jobs due to budget cuts. We’ve all heard how the recession has taken a toll on our school systems.  In spite of that, all of the educators that I know remain dedicated and concerned about the children that pass through their classrooms.

My wife Amy is a High School Teacher.  I spoke with her this week about the opportunities and challenges of her job.  Amy said, “In case you’re wondering, leading and molding the hearts and minds of teenagers can be stressful at times, but it’s never not boring.”  Amy teaches Family and Consumer Science courses at Westside High in Macon, GA.  She takes the time to collaborate with her fellow teachers and administrators not only about kids with discipline issues, but kids that need encouragement and support.

Just this week, Amy was reminded how teachers can make a difference when she got an email from one of her students.  The student that emailed her is a Senior girl who has a 2 year old child and recently had major abdominal surgery.  Clearly, an 18 year old kid trying to graduate from high school, who has a 2 year old child plus a serious medical issue, is dealing with some difficult circumstances.  To add a little more context to this child’s life story, the teenage father of her child was killed.

Here’s the note that this student sent to Amy from the hospital:

• “Hi Mrs. Jeffords. Happy Mothers Day! I apologize for not writing you sooner I have been resting as much as I can. My surgery went well and I thank u for your prayers and support. I can honestly tell you that it has been a privilege to have you as one of my teachers. You have helped me a lot during this last year. Because of you, I am understanding the actions and behaviors of my son. I am a single mother but with your help and the support of my family, I am raising my son the way that I should. His father would be proud. Thank u Mrs. Jeffords from the bottom of my heart. You are amazing.”

That’s making a difference.  In spite of this kid’s challenges, she will be graduating this week and her teacher is proud.