When I was kid, magnifying glasses had special place in my heart.  My Great Grandmother had a massive, old-fashioned magnifying glass that she used for reading.  I was allowed to take the magnifying glass on outdoor excursions in the small wood lot that separated her home from my Grandparents home.  I would peer deeply into that small part of the natural world, and discover some intriguing, hidden details.  Oh yeah, and I burned holes in a whole lot of leaves.  When we look deeply into the fabric of the natural world, it offer us insights about the core dynamics at play there.  The same could be said about the fabric of culture…

When we look closely at the fabric of a given culture, we find that it’s essentially defined by the collective application of a particular set of values.  These cultural values might be stated, but we really have to look closely at how people live to discover their actual values.  To be sure, there are countless subcultures, embedded within mainstream culture, that shape and influence people….  And these subcultures shape the mainstream culture.  The osmosis effect of the subcultures that we immerse ourselves in wields a major influence on our hopes, our dreams, and our very identity…

Much of what we learn in life about values, relationships and even faith, are modeled to us by the influential people in our lives.   This is especially true for children.  We see attributes and virtues displayed by all sorts of people throughout our lives, but the ones closest to us can really leave a mark.  Sometimes, it’s actually the absence of values that leaves a mark on us.  Yet, no matter the past, we are each endowed with the opportunity to touch lives, to make a difference, to leave an imprint on culture.  People who shape culture consistently apply their values, learn from their mistakes and develop a deep sense of confidence in their identity.  When a community of people live that way, it’s viral….

A community of people with a purposeful sense of identity can actually create culture.  Culture defines nations and authors history.

I hit a major turning point in my life was when I recognized the origins of truth, and the nature of grace.  I still have a whole lot to learn, but my compass is a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.  The eternal power of Jesus comes from knowing who he is, and believing in what he did (John 3:16).  This sometimes means making some blatantly counter-cultural decisions.  Once we right ourselves with God, through Jesus, something crazy amazing starts to happen within us.  We become attentive to the still, small voice….  We begin growing in wisdom and in truth….  We start asking deeper questions….  And we become part of His movement, a movement that creates culture.

I think we all want to be difference-makers.  I think we’re all searching for true north.  I think we all want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.  When we look deeply into the hearts of those who truly make a difference, we find that they’re values-driven to a fault.  They do believe in something bigger.  In the face of cultural opposition and the internal struggles that we each face, these cultural architects inspire us to remain faithful, anyway….

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

- The Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith

I wonder how many life-changing, innovative ideas were first expressed on a paper napkin.  Paper-napkin moments occur over a meal, or coffee, with family, friends or colleagues.  The inspired content that spills out onto the napkin represents an innovation, or a solution.  I’ve certainly experienced my share of paper-napkin-moments in my life, and many of those paper-napkin-ideas are now tangible realities.  Those moments of innovation and problem-solving are a beautiful thing, and there’s a key dynamic present each time that they occur….

These days, I’m rarely separated from my Macbook, or my iPhone, so the paper napkin has given way to my favorite digital note taking software, Evernote.  I take a lot of notes, and I think, write and strategize daily.  I deeply value my quiet contemplation, but there’s an irreplaceable dynamic in my life that facilitates many of my creative breakthroughs.  That dynamic is meaningful conversations with trusted friends.

I work and serve alongside some amazing leaders, and I am blessed to have many wise and creative friends.  I take full advantage of my key relationships by engaging in regular, meaningful conversations.  Some of these conversations revolve around professional opportunities and challenges.  Other of my meaningful conversations revolve around personal opportunities and challenges.  Whatever the topic, there’s no better context for breakthroughs than the dynamic that occurs when trusted friends process life together….

Great ideas and bold solutions are discovered as we refine our hopes and dreams through meaningful conversations.   

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, you know that one of the catalysts for growing our faith is meaningful conversations with trusted friends that share your faith.  At my church, Longleaf Church, we move people into small groups where providential relationships can often be found and where meaningful conversations can happen.  As a step to further employ this powerful dynamic, I’ve created a simple system for you, and me.  It’s a way for us to have powerful conversations.  I call it Peer Coaching, and it’s been bouncing around in my head for the past five years…

I’ve had innumerable meaningful conversations within leadership, entrepreneurial and personal contexts that facilitated breakthroughs for me.  There are opportunities and challenges in our hearts and minds that we need to unpack.  There are important questions that we need to consider.  There are God-sized dreams within us that are just waiting to be incubated into great ideas.  There are things that we are learning that we want to share.  We must leverage the power of meaningful conversations to become the person that we were meant to be.

So, if we recognize the power of meaningful conversations, why not take it to the next level by adding a little structure to it?  Imagine if we used a conversation guide that allows us to systematically ask, and answer, powerful questions with trusted friends?  That’s what my System 16:3 Peer Coaching template is for.  It’s a simple and effective catalyst for meaningful conversations.  Go HERE to learn more about it and to start using it immediately!

Have you ever experienced a paper napkin moment?  Was a trusted friend collaborating with you in that moment?

Emily broke her arm.  I’ve uttered that phrase about one hundred times over the past week.  Actually, gravity and centrifugal force broke Emily’s arm.  She slipped while doing a round-off at gym on Monday night.  The Vegas Odds on Emily breaking something before her brother were 75 to 1, but somehow she managed to beat the odds.  Life can be funny that way.  Emily didn’t just break her arm, she managed to break the all-important growth plate at her elbow.  Emily’s Type III Growth Plate Fracture pretty much epitomizes the phrase, that’s a tough break.

According to the American Academy of Orthopaedic Surgeons:

The bones of children and adults share many of the same risks for injury. However, a child’s bones are also subject to a unique injury called a growth plate fracture. Growth plates are areas of developing cartilage tissue near the ends of long bones. The growth plate regulates and helps determine the length and shape of the mature bone.

The journey that is our family life is sort of like a one-man-band playing a song, while riding a bike and juggling bananas.  If you a jam a stick in the spokes, it could get ugly.  Emily’s tough break was a bit of a stick-in-the spokes for us….

After our consultation with a Pediatric Orthopaedic Surgeon in Atlanta, we opted for a surgical procedure that will greatly reduce the risk of Emily developing any complications as her arm heals.  That procedure is set for Tuesday at Egelston Children’s Hospital in Atlanta, so say a little prayer for Em J (as we call her).

When the doctor’s elaboration on Emily’s injury culminated with a surgical treatment recommendation, Emily glanced up at me with her sweet brown eyes and conveyed a clear nonverbal message to me… Do you think he knows that I’m sitting right here?!  I hear him talking about manipulating my broken bone, and I know that it’s going to hurt when I wake up!  And what about a pink cast?!  When can I get a pink cast?!  I’m done here Daddy, can we go shopping now?  Yep, Emily is brilliant at descriptive facial expressions…

It was an interesting week.  In the scheme of things, this is not a huge deal.  However, Emily has been tough and resilient as we have faced this little hiccup.  Life is going to deliver some tough breaks to us, we just have to be ready to respond.  When it comes to the tough breaks in life, it truly is our response to them that matters the most.  We are emotional beings, so our response to the tough breaks will draw out our emotions.  The first emotion that typically bubbles up is self-pity.  It’s alright to experience a little self-pity, it’s what happens next that matters….

After we work through the inevitable emotions of a tough break, our progress begins with a renewed focus on the things actually within our control, and letting go of what we can’t control.  To a degree, we’re all control freaks.  This renewed focus can be a beautiful thing.  When setbacks occur, they are often accompanied with an opportunity.  One specific opportunity that may accompany a physical injury, or ailment, is some time to slow down and re-energize.  For me, like many of you, injuries and ailments have always forced me to develop my patience, which is sometimes lacking….

Tough breaks are a part of life, and they’re rarely as simple as mending a broken arm.  No matter how difficult a setback may be, there’s really only one way to respond:

Overcoming the tough breaks in life is a process of accepting them, facing them head-on and embracing the somewhat educational healing process.

Have you, or one of your kids, ever suffered a broken a bone?  How did the recovery process go?

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.  Jeremiah 17:14 TNIV

Three step program for forgetting about your broken arm: #shopping #icecream #QTwithmama http://t.co/omdTlWMM

January 11, 2012 7:45 pm via VisibliReplyRetweetFavorite

@jeffreyjeffords

Jeffrey Jeffords

It’s that time of the year when we reflect on the past, and dream about the future.  A new year is a milepost that stirs quiet contemplation, strategic planning and maybe even some soul-searching.  We should pause to celebrate the personal wins of 2011, and we should consider our growth opportunities for 2012.  Those opportunities forge and refine our annual goals….

Many of us will aspire to further our careers, deepen our relationships, restore our finances or reinvigorate our health in 2012.  We will hit the ground running with new diets, fitness regimes, reading plans, savings plans and perhaps new career paths.  These are certainly worthy goals, but we must first embrace and build upon some important core goals…

These core goals remind us that life is not all about us.  They remind us that our capacity to achieve big things begins with a heart to help others achieve big things…

Chasing our dreams and pursuing our goals begins by showing the people closest to us that we believe in them.

I make it a priority to recognize the unique gifts within my wife and children, and to encourage them to develop those gifts.  Our core goals should begin with the core people in our lives.  For example, my wife, Amy, is a fierce mother and a creative Family Ministry Leader at our church.  I want to support her, and challenge her, to continue creating the innovative family ministry environments at Longleaf Church that she’s uniquely capable of.

My oldest daughter, Anna, has incredible wisdom for a kid her age.  Emily, my middle child, is the most socially adept person that I know.  My son, John Harmon, has a fiery passion for soccer, and is determined to become the best player that he can be.  In 2012, I’m going to help my kids develop their unique gifts, and direct them in a positive way.  For example, I’m going to talk to John Harmon after all of his soccer games this year about true toughness, a team-first attitude and responding to adversity with wisdom and determination by leveraging the great example set by Tim Tebow.

As far as I’m concerned, these are my most important personal development goals of 2012; to believe in, nurture and inspire the people closest to me.  As an extension of this people development premise, I also feel accountable to encourage and nurture the talents of those that I work closely with.  While you likely agree with my family first approach, you might be wondering how it is that I equate strategically investing into my family to my foremost personal development goal….

I’ve learned that putting others first, and serving people well is a transcendent purpose in life, and business.  I’ve learned that a healthy foundation at home is more valuable than great stockpiles of gold.  I’ve learned that God opens doors for us while we are opportunistic about serving others.  I’ve learned that opportunities come to those who honor their responsibilities to invest themselves into the people closest to them.

I have some important personal and professional goals in 2012, but my core goals are about shepherding the hearts of those closest to me.  That foundation not only sets my loved ones up for success, but demonstrates that there’s a prevailing truth at play in my life; that my Heavenly Father believes in me and saved me by grace.

Was there someone in your life who believed in you, and nurtured your talents in a powerful way?

I really love Christmas Movies.  How many times have you referenced a scene from one of your favorite Christmas Movie this week!?  They’re just ingrained into our culture.  I love all the classics, such as It’s A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol.  I also love the new classics, such as Elf, Home Alone, A Christmas Story AND Christmas Vacation.  Christmas movies are great, because they help bring families and friends together, and they highlight some basic truths in memorable ways…

George Bailey, the central character in It’s A Wonderful Life, comes to mind as my favorite Christmas movie character.  After George recognized the depth of his influence upon the lives of his family and friends, he experienced an awakening around what matters most.  My favorite Christmas movie scene is not as notable as George Bailey, but I’ll bet it’s familiar to you nonetheless.  My favorite Christmas movie scene is from Christmas Vacation.  Let me set it up for you…

Clark Griswold had worked tirelessly to fire up “two-hundred and fifty strands of lights with one-hundred twinkling lights per strand, for a grand total of twenty-five thousand imported Italian Twinkle Lights.”  Clark stapled the lights all over the roof of his suburban home, and he had struggled mightily to power-up his lights.  Finally, the lights were lit and Clark’s family joined him on the lawn to take-in the extravagant display of lights.

An aerial perspective of The Griswold home.

As Clark moved from family member to family member hugging them, and anticipating that the lights would bring them some small measure of Christmas joy, each family member responded with gratitude, except one, Clark’s father-in-law, Art.  “The little lights aren’t twinkling”, said Art.  “I know Art, and thanks for noticing”, Clark replied.  Aside from the great humor, Art’s response to Clark reinforces a profound truth for me.

A great struggle of this life pits the peace illuminated by Christmas against the malcontent spread by the darkness.  Jesus Christ brought eternal peace for our souls, if we believe in him.  Yet, the battle within us rages because the darkness hates the peace, so the darkness attacks the peace with deception, and it uses absolutely everything at its disposal.

Think about it.  The struggles of this life are mostly internal.  Sometimes, misguided people will say and do things to you without thinking, without proper context and without regard for your diligent efforts. Unfortunately, we tend to internalize and dwell on those negative words and deeds, instead of the encouraging words that come to us so much more often.  Legitimate encouraging words and deeds aren’t always optimistic, but they are always genuine.

Art wasn’t genuine, he was just bitter.  Clark quickly deflected Art’s comment and moved-on.  Who knew that Clark W. Griswold Jr. had some wisdom in him!  The key to repelling those ill-timed attacks is; to recognize them as attempts to undermine our peace, to pray for those that might offend us and to maintain our focus on the right stuff…

The peace found through Christ transforms our souls, but the darkness works overtime to challenge our joy, and erode our resolve.  The darkness seeks to leverage our insecurities, and make us feel inadequate.  The darkness wants us to just give-up the fight.  The darkness even seeks to leverage the insecurities of others to assail our peace from the sidelines of life.

The birth of Jesus paved the way for us to become God’s children.  Jesus settled the score, and brought peace for our souls.  Peace that surpasses all else that is known, or seen.  This Christmas, my prayer for you, and for me, is to experience the peace of Christmas.  Peace that….

• illuminates the hope that lies within us.
• makes us courageous.
• prods us to grow in wisdom.
• fuels our dreams and unleashes our talents.
• makes us quick to forgive, and slow to anger.
• allows us to appreciate the moment.
• makes us want to hug our families every single day.
• inspires us to make a difference.
• conquers the darkness.
• restores our souls.

“Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” (Luke 2:14 TNIV)

What’s your favorite Christmas movie, or your favorite Christmas movie scene?